Everyone around me is panicking. No, it’s not loo roll shortage, people on the tube wearing masks or the fury of middle-class shoppers in Waitrose stockpiling hummus. It’s not even that weird dry skin you get from excessive hand sanitiser.
It’s the idea of working from home.
My friends are panic buying printers and laptop stands and wondering what to do with their days without a commute and a desk and a work wardrobe. Without having somewhere to be Monday to Friday.
But me? It’s business as usual. As a freelance journalist, I’ve been in self-isolation for three years now. It’s funny to me how worked-up you all are about something I do every day. Also, how aghast some of you are at having to work remotely – possibly in your PJS. Is this not, literally, the dream?
Welcome to my world, people, let me show you the ropes…
Working from home is not for everyone, I get it. Because the biggest obstacle you will face is yourself. You are your own worst enemy when left to your own devices, because that little voice in the back of your head that tells you how much better your day would be if you could just binge watch Drag Race, is so much louder now that you…actually could. No one is stopping you from leaving your bed, no one is monitoring how many hours you can waste scrolling on insta, who’s going to catch you watching Netflix in your underwear?
Which is why I have perfected foolproof tips that are guaranteed to help ease your remote working woes. The trick? Lean in to the best parts of WFH, and make that duvet work for you….
The Bed Desk
That dreaded moment when you remember it’s not – as your sweet subconscious may have tricked you into thinking – a weekend. That second you realise it’s a workday and you’ll need to haul your arse out of the warm, snug, duvet clad existence and onto the crowded tube or rainy bust stop….No more!
Welcome to the first real, blissful joy of working from home. You do not need to leave your bed. And so this is my first nugget of wisdom, oh uninitiated remote workers; embrace The Bed Desk.
Now, a warning: The Bed Desk is strictly a morning venue. It’s where you bring a cup of coffee and your breakfast on a tray. It’s where you set up your laptop in the first hour or two of the day, and catch up on emails, and do your first batch of admin tasks. Once your coffee is cold, and your toast is devoured, you will have successfully: a. Been at work far earlier and done way more than you normally would by 9.30am on a Wednesday, and b. Indulged that inner voice which wanted to stay in bed. Next up: shower-time, you detty pig.
Your WFH Wardrobe
Ok, so PJs may be the ubiquitous WFH choice but, unless you have yourself a snazzy silk pair that make you look like a woke female Hugh Heffner, they are best avoided if you want to feel productive. That and, I can say from personal experience, it’s a real damper on your day when the Amazon delivery guy throws you some judgemental shade for being in a NYPD t-shirt, no bra and your old uni trackie bottoms at 4pm. “I’m self-employed Steve!!” you yell after him.
But Steve? Steve doesn’t care. Steve just judges.
The fact is, there is a ritual to getting ready for work that empowers you to start your day, get sh*t done and generally feel professional. Just because you are working from home, there is no reason – post Bed Desk, of course- to let this slide. I frequently still wear fabulous outfits for a day at home, that no one will see but me. Having a day when you feel super slumpy? Heels and makeup. Sound stupid, genuinely works. It’s very hard to feel relaxed in nine inch stilettos.
Hot Desking – at home
Once you have graduated from Bed Desk to an actual desk, it’s time to make sure you feel as at home in your new home office as possible. Even if this is just a corner of the kitchen table, a stack of cookbooks and cushions in your bedroom or a spot on the coffee table in the living room, you need to nest at your desk. Make it your own- pot plants, photos, a new shelf- whatever- it needs to make you feel as professional as your office does. If in doubt- buy some new stationery. Nothing cheers me up more than a new batch of Post-It notes. ( Maybe I have been working alone too long…)
You are what you eat (or order)
Working from an office means you generally get into a food routine. You have your local sandwich place, your coffee haunt. It’s all sorted. But WFH throws that off. Suddenly, you feel like a student again, wondering if beans on toast is still totally acceptable, or if the Hemsley sisters will excommunicate you for getting a Pot Noodle. But if corona-panic now means you’re facing March at your home office, start planning your lunches ahead and buy as many veggies, soups and quick meals as possible to keep you healthy. Also, now is the time to look into those great food delivery companies you were never at home to try (no one needs that ‘Sorry We Missed You’ note from Royal Mail note when its perishable items). Personally, I always have a week of lunches planned; soups, roasted vegetables, yes, a lot of pasta, and often line up a podcast to listen to while I cook, so it’s a good use of my time. It’s also a treat, see below…
Netflix and lunch break
Used to eating your lunch al-desko? No more, kiddies! This is where the carrot-stick mindset of WFH really pays off. Select an episode of a show you’re watching – 30mins, an hour, however long you take for lunch- and treat yourself to it on your lunch break. Make it your reward for a finished morning task, or even just managing to look sleek for Steve the Delivery Guy. Besides being a great motivator, it is also a brilliant way to plug out of work for a while, something so few of us do- but which is crucial for our mental health and, ultimately, our productivity. Even half an hour of Love Is Blind, away from your inbox is enough to get you energised for your afternoon of work and give you the headspace you need. It’s also a reminder that, no matter how unproductive you feel, at least you didn’t feed red wine to your golden retriever. Yes ‘Messica’ we’re looking at you.
Cat? Are you there? It’s me, freelancer
The main issue you’ll find as you WFH is…the loneliness. Yes, you may initially be thrilled to no longer have to bump into Emily from HR, but you will soon start to be aware of how…quiet everything is. Having gone from the chaos of a major newsroom to the peace of my kitchen table, this was the first culture shock I faced when I became a freelancer three years ago. You get used to it, but it can be a little odd. Put the radio on, or a podcast when and if you can, just to hear some voices. Check in with colleagues over Skype, zoom or the old fashioned telephone. Or – if you have them- you could always start talking to your pet. My cat and I have cracking conversations all day about how cute she is, no really how did she get so cute, and does she know mummy loves her? Sure, they’re a little one- sided, and I’m not so sold on her Brexit opinions, but it’s nice to have a WFH buddy. Oh, and if you think that’s weird? Trust me, you’ll be talking to yourself soon enough.
Hell is other (WFH) people
There is, of course, the risk that you won’t be alone at all. Now you guys have all jumped on the WFH bandwagon. There’s the sudden advent of the zoom call. Colleagues I saw once a week are now really cutting into my Bed Desk time by demanding to see my PJ-clad face at 9.30am on a Tuesday. Where once I could be in my undies and still productive, now I have to look presentable for that camera close up. Although, let’s face it, only the top half of you needs to look dressed #lifehack…
Friends of mine who have kids are struggling to keep them out of zoom shot, lest they repeat the iconic performance of that cult BBC interview, when the professor’s kid invades the screen. Other friends have reported odd team dynamics now that they are all WFH (passive aggressive slack messages, MIA team members) but, in some cases, increased productivity, which may prove office bants are a distraction after all. #awks
There’s a whole new set of rules now that everyone is WFH. You may find yourself sharing your home office with your partner, spouse, flat mates, even kids. What to do when you find yourself sharing the kitchen table with them? Jostling for laptop space, arguing over who gets to make work calls when? How to sidestep the divorce-inducing comments about who types loudly, hogs the most space or listens to loud music on their headphones?
I DON’T KNOW guys, can anyone help? My boyfriend has just started WFH with me, stealing desk space and making loud phone calls.
I am panicked. Anyone else??