I think what’s been so beautiful to recognise is that while I have spent the majority of my life hiding from the truest version of myself, Dee has been running towards hers with open arms.
The fact that our queer experiences are vastly different has taught me that there are many ways to live a queer life, and all of them are valid. While firmly living her truth, Dee has done so quietly. She doesn’t share her experience with many that she meets; she’s not an outward activist, but instead has enjoyed living in peace. As a result of years of keeping my queerness in the shadows, I am making up for lost time and tend to shout it from rooftops, regularly writing queer-related media and offloading to anyone who will listen. Both of our experiences are valid. We’re both proudly queer, but not every queer person has an obligation to be a spokesperson, and it’s not something that should be expected, regardless of your age.
Privacy isn’t secrecy, and living quietly isn’t hiding. That said, she is choosing to share her story now, in her winter years, which she feels has come from a place of necessity. Last year, the UK Supreme Court ruled that “sex” and “woman” in the Equality Act 2010 strictly refer to biological sex. Put simply, this means that, according to the law, Dee would be barred from using a woman’s public bathroom. For comparison, never in Dee’s lifetime has there been a blanket law suggesting that trans+ individuals can’t use single-sex bathrooms. “Now feels like the right time to share my story because being trans feels more dangerous than ever.” She tells me. “I hope that by being open about my life, I can show that trans people deserve a life full of love and adventure, even amid the politicising of our bodies.”