We’re not here to pass judgment (or to pass anything else) but the HAIM fandom has been left clenching after multiple reports suggest that the band’s “I Quit” tour is being plagued by a serial farter.
Reports silently leaked on TikTok over the weekend, beginning with the September 25th show in Dallas at — and we wish we were making this up — The Bomb Factory. “Whoever was shitting their pants at the HAIM concert pls see yourself out,” one person posted. The comments were full of confirmations, including, “Were you guys stage right?! That’s where we were and it was awfullll,” and “STAGE RIGHT IT WAS SO BAD,” as well as clues to a deeper mystery.
“Wait this literally happened to me and my friend at the haim concert in msg [Madison Square Garden],” one person added. Then everyone decided to let it rip:
“dude this happened at the seattle show too. it was so bad.”
“Oh man that happened in Austin too! Sour!!!”
“The man in front of me at the milwaukee show was FARTING AND IT SMELLED LIKE ROTTEN EGGS WHERE IS THE CLASS AND DECENCY?!!”
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Which led original poster 1800katkat to cut to the cheese chase: “I’m starting to wonder, why is there a farter at every HAIM show?”
Eventually, suspicion began to fall on three people known to have attended every concert: “Is it HAIM themselves?” 1800katkat mused. But perhaps she ought to be careful, because as more time goes by, the more likely we are to recall the wisdom of the ancients: whoever smelt it, dealt it. After all, throughout the whole saga she’s been awfully quick to, uh, toot her own horn. If HAIM are the number one suspects, the influencer who keeps talking about it deserves to be — you guessed it — number two.
HAIM are touring in support of their fun new album i quit. Tickets are available here, and Amazon has a sale on some apparently-necessary equipment here.
@1800katkat
@1800katkat Replying to @Sarah pls share any info on the @haimtheband farter!!!!!! #haim #iquittour #fart #concert