Gossip & Rumors

Kylie Jenner Flaunts Thicker Figure In Tight Dress: Check Out My Waist-to-Hip Ratio, Bishes!

We’ve seen a lot of Kylie Jenner in 2020.

And we mean that in every way possible.

We’ve seen the world’s youngest billionaire frequently, as she posts on Instagram at least once a day.

And we’ve seen a lot of Kylie’s skin, as most of those posts were thirstier than a hangover in the Sahara.

As we’ve said before, Kylie’s quarantine content was one of the few bright spots of 2020.

As a billionaire and an American hero, Kylie will probably be among the first to receive the vaccine, which means she’ll soon be able to resume her schedule of jetting around the world doing cool billionaire sh-t.

But if you thought the gradual re-opening of planet Earth would distract Kylie from posting sultry selfies, you’ve got another thing coming.

The holiday season has Kylie stepping her game up to ensure that she earns her spot on the naughty list.

First, Kylie made the Grinch sexy, a feat that we wlouldn’t have thought was possible.

Now, she’s wearing a dress that’s somehow more provocative than most of Kylie’s bikini pics.

Again, she’s defying the laws of nature, and while we won’t pretend to understand exactly how that’s possible, we fully appreciate the work she’s putting in.

There have been claims in recent weeks that Kylie is thicker than ever.

And while that may be true, you can bet the thickification is not the result of a indiscriminate holiday gorging.

No, when you’re a billionaire, everything you do is carefully coordinated, because you can afford to pay someone to carefully coordinate it.

So when Kylie puts a little extra padding on her frame, she does so with intent.

Of course, unlike some of her more desperate peers, Kylie’s not selling or promoting something every time she posts.

Sometimes, she’s just bored and feels like racking up a few million likes.

Take her latest photo set, for example.

Kylie is chillin’ at home while rocking something skin-tight, which is the exact opposite of how most of us chill at home.

She captioned the pics simply, “living room vibes.”

Okay, most people’s living rooms don’t have marble floors, and giant metal doors that look like they should be opened by two armed guards.

But we’re sure we don’t keed to tell you that Kylie is not most people.

We’re getting down to that time of year where there’s like three business days left in 2020, and if you haven’t finished your Christmas shopping yet, you’re pretty much boned.

But do you think Kylie will take the rest next couple of weeks off and reflect on all that she’s accomplished? Hell, no!

She’ll be out there every day, doing the work and living the American dream.

We’d salute her, but that feels like more of a Fourth of July thing.

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