During his opening monologue for tonight’s installment of Real Time with Bill Maher, host Bill Maher cracked jokes across political aisles, taking hits at candidates Kamala Harris and Donald Trump, as well as the Menedez brothers.
Getting started with a Halloween-themed joke ahead of the weekend, he said, “I’ve already seen so many people out, wearing crazy makeup, trying to scare people — what Trump calls campaigning. Kamala, also, in the Halloween mood; she loves it when the little kids come up on her porch and say those three little words: ‘Please don’t shoot.’”
Maher, whose prediction that Harris will win received cheers, cautioned that they’re not through the wringer yet, joking, “Her supporters are getting very nervous, they just can’t put their finger on it, but they feel something is wrong, like when Doug Emhoff drives the babysitter home.”
When that comment drew chuckles, Maher added, “We laugh at all sides here, and that’s good.”
The second-to-last broadcast ahead of the election, Maher discussed the candidates’ respective closing arguments. While Harris’ is her mantra of “We’re not going back,” Maher took shots at “troll” Trump’s much-discussed stint at McDonald’s drive-thru. “Trump’s closing argument seems to be, ‘I work at McDonald’s and Arnold Palmer has a big d—,’” he said.
(The late pro golfer’s daughter rebuked the former president’s comments directed at her father, calling it “disrespectful and inappropriate.” Trump appeared to go off-script at a Pennsylvania rally where he spoke of Palmer for 10 minutes, saying, “When he took showers with the other pros, they came out of there, they said, ‘Oh my God, that’s unbelievable.’” This was also not the first time Trump had made comments about Palmer and “the size of his genitalia.”)
At this point, Maher brought out an image of Trump at the drive-thru window, saying he would caption the photo: “Want lies with that?”
He continued, “The people don’t like him, they just get a kick out of him. They think he’s more fun. I mean, I don’t get it, but it explains why so many of our movies are about homicidal clowns.”
Switching gears, Maher added his two cents about Lyle and Erik Menendez‘s pending resentencing recommended by Los Angeles County District Attorney George Gascón in a new court filing.
“The charges are going to be reduced from capital murder to extreme backtalk,” he said. “This is kinda what I mean about how Democrats are really not good at politics. Who in the DA’s office was like, ‘You know, this would be a good time to release Hispanic murderers. Don’t ya think?’”
Maher concluded his opening monologue with another shot at Trump: “If Trump does win, he will be the oldest president ever, passing even Joe Biden, and remember what a bunch of laughs that was. Yeah, let’s do that again, but with a sex criminal. It would be like rebooting The Cosby Show, with Bill Cosby.”