Henry urges clients to approach therapy with curiosity and be prepared to take a deeper look at the way they currently behave, think, and feel, as well as what life experience may have contributed to that.
Ways to move forward in between sessions and after concluding therapy…
11. Do your homework.
Some therapists may give homework assignments or reflective activities for the person to engage in between sessions, which might include things like journaling about or reflecting on certain areas of your life, noting when something you discussed in therapy comes up for you, or practicing certain skills, Dr. Rodriguez says.
“But even if the therapist doesn’t do that, journaling your experiences and keeping notes on what aspects of your time with the therapist are playing out in your life can be helpful,” he says. “It can serve as a good practice for you to be able to do that so you have materials to bring into the therapist to share with them and process these things that may be working or not working to help you get the most that you can out of therapy.”
Counselling can be really difficult and can bring up a lot of upsetting feelings, which is why it’s all the more important to be patient, show yourself grace and compassion, and give yourself some time to recover if things are getting difficult, Henry says. For that reason, Henry doesn’t recommend scheduling a session immediately before or after a big work meeting, presentation, or other event that may leave you feeling stressed and not in the best emotional state.
“I try to never schedule anything after a session because sometimes they can be emotionally draining,” Victoria adds. “After particularly rough sessions (i.e. lots of crying), I’ll go get ice cream or something that makes me feel better.”
“Schedule a come-down time after your session,” says Celeste R., 36, of Arlington, Virginia. “You may have cried or feel tired after the session, so protect the 30-60 minutes after the session to give your body and mind time to recuperate.”
“If I have the time immediately after a session ends, I usually allow myself at least half an hour to just sit and reflect on the session,” adds Deanna. When this isn’t possible, she tries to at least make time to take notes. “When I am able to find another quiet moment to myself, I can look at my notes and see, [for example], that I do need to work on forgiving myself.”
13. Take your learnings with you.
Some people stay in therapy over the course of their lives, either continually or on and off. But many people don’t stay in therapy forever. So it can be natural to get to a point where you feel confident ending your regular sessions. Of course, this doesn’t mean you can’t resume therapy again in the future or try out a different therapist or mode of therapy for another area of your life, says Dr. Rodriguez.
When you do decide to end therapy, Henry recommends maintaining a list of insights and skills that you’ve learned and going back to this list every now and then just to make sure that you’re keeping that mindset.
“It’s easy to just get back into the swing of day-to-day life and forget some of the ways that you were approaching things, which is where revisiting your notes and your accomplishments can help,” Henry says. “Having checkups with your therapist periodically—perhaps two and, later, six months later—can also be really helpful in keeping you on track and keeping you on top of using those skills and insights, and also figuring out if you may want to restart sessions down the line.”