“Nobody likes a quitter,” my grandpa told me when I was seven years old. I’d been learning to paddle board on holiday and, after three separate occasions where I felt as though I was drowning, and a particularly board-to-nose face plant, I’d stomped back up the beach to tell my family that I was done with the water sport for good.
I still remember my grandpa’s look of disappointment as he listened to his beloved granddaughter do the worst thing he could think of: quit.
At the time I felt immense shame, as though I’d somehow let him and myself down, but if I look back on it now I am aware of an immense sense of pride. I wasn’t a ‘quitter’, I was simply choosing not to waste my time on something that would never serve me and that I wasn’t enjoying. In fact, I was actually committing to something much more important: myself. With no paddle boarding lessons to attend, I spent the rest of the holiday devouring books on the beach, and, reader, guess what? I became a writer.
When a relationship doesn’t feel right anymore, when we are not happy and have tried to fix problems but can’t, those around us encourage us to leave, right? So why don’t they say the same about other things that are no longer serving us?
We’re taught the importance of following through, of sticking it out and making it to the end, but I’d like to put the opposite argument forward: that learning how to be a good quitter will help you become more successful, happier and more at peace with your life.
And when I say quitting, I mean anything – quitting university, quitting reading a book, quitting a job, a friendship, a project, even a TV series (though don’t you dare quit You season three) – we need to quit more, and here’s why.
I quit my first ‘real job’ after university when I was 21. I was burnt out, had been having panic attacks and generally hated what I was doing day-to-day. I didn’t have anything else lined up and I’d hardly saved a penny due to working right beside a Topshop (R.I.P). It looked like a stupid, reckless thing to do and left me trailing behind my friends who were ‘sticking with’ their jobs. But it was actually the best career decision I have ever made; it changed the course of my life and led me one step closer to my dream job of becoming a journalist.
Sure, the first few weeks of freefall were scary – and I don’t recommend just leaving a job without a backup if you’ve got a child to support or a great debt to pay off – but it forced me to set up a routine for myself. With no finances to fall back on, it pushed me to be brave: I had to DM that editor I’d always admired and attend networking events full of intimidating people.
And though leaving my job wasn’t solely responsible for what happened next, quitting was a terrifying – and necessary – starting point. It kickstarted a sense of self-belief and it forced me to think creatively about how I wanted to take my next step. It also gave me the time and freedom to act upon it.