On Tuesday morning, New York attorney general Letitia James released the results of her office’s investigation into sexual harassment allegations against Governor Andrew Cuomo. For a time, it seemed that while the report wouldn’t necessarily portray Cuomo in a great light, it might not be a complete and total career-ender. Which, in retrospect, was a quaint thought! Instead, over the course of 165 pages, James’s office referred to numerous cringe-worthy, stomach-churning instances in which the governor sexually harassed nearly a dozen women, with the A.G. noting in a press conference that after interviewing 179 individuals and examining more than 74,000 documents, a “deeply disturbing, yet clear, picture” of Cuomo’s behavior had emerged.
In one instance, for example, the governor met a female state trooper at an event and then requested that she be transferred to his personal detail, despite the fact that she didn’t have the required three years of experience. After she joined his team, Cuomo allegedly asked her why she didn’t wear a dress while working—a comment a senior officer suggested she should keep to herself—and on another occasion, warned her not to get married because “your sex drive goes down.” At another point, the report says, Cuomo told the trooper she was “too old” for him and that he was looking for a girlfriend who could “handle pain.” On three occasions, each of them corroborated, the governor allegedly touched the trooper in an inappropriate manner, The Washington Post noted.
Per the Post:
Elsewhere in the report, the A.G.’s office alleges other gross conduct, including a situation in which the governor, who has denied the allegations against him, met a woman at an event and brushed his hand near her breasts:
And that Cuomo touched the breasts and butt of an executive assistant, in addition to regularly asking her if she’d ever cheated on her husband, and later saying he’d like to sleep with her:
There are other horrifying details, but you get the gist. Based on these alone, you might think that the governor would have held a press conference to announce his resignation effective immediately, or that he might have a better response to the allegations than, effectively, “I touch everyone inappropriately.” But, surprise! Here are a series of words Cuomo actually said on Tuesday:
Cab drivers. Bellhops. The guy working the TKTS ticket booth. The cast of Mamma Mia!. A waiter at the Olive Garden in Times Square. The CEO of the New York Stock Exchange. A Mister Softee truck driver. The goats in Riverside Park. Mr. Met.
Does this make the allegations sound less bad? Incredibly, in the mind of Cuomo and the people advising him, the answer is yes! And they didn’t stop there! Later, the governor’s office released a written response, roughly 70% of which was (1) photos of him touching people, and (2) photos of other politicians who are not Cuomo touching people.
It includes photos of Cuomo hugging his mother and father. Other bizarre choices by the staffer who was presumably assigned the job of searching Google Images using the phrase “politicians + hugging” include Barack Obama comforting a Hurricane Sandy victim and Michelle Obama hugging Hillary Clinton. (It’s also possible that Cuomo, completely out of his mind, selected and put together the series of photos himself.)
Of course, normally hugging people in public is not what Cuomo has been accused of, but, as laid out by James’s office, grabbing women’s breasts and implying he wants to have sex with them. So, there’s that.
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