We’ve all seen the horror movie when the poor victim finally reaches a helpful person on the phone after fielding a series of horrifying calls. Then the reassuring voice on the other end of the line quickly gets quiet and ultra-serious: “The calls are coming from inside the house!”
Trevor Noah has seen that movie too. Late last week, in fact.
“For months, President Trump has been saying the coronavirus pandemic isn’t as big a deal as everyone is suggesting,” the host said tonight during his monologue on The Daily Social Distancing Show. “But now the virus is responding by saying, ‘Knock-knock, beeyatch!’”
Cut to news reports that say, “In 48 hours, two members of the White House staff tested positive for the virus.” As you might have read, one of them was the president’s personal valet, who serves him meals and copious amount of Diet Coke, and the other is Vice President Mike Pence’s press secretary. Fun fact: The latter happens to be newly married to one of Trump’s closest advisers.
“And I won’t lie,” the Comedy Central host added, “I’m not surprised that this cluster started in Stephen Miller’s house. That dude has always given off major ‘bitten by a bat’ vibes.”
See photo above.
“Oh, snap,” Noah muses. “The coronavirus is now officially in the White House. And that’s scary. Although, if it’s like everything else that lands in the White House, it most last more than a few weeks.”
Oh, snap indeed. And Noah punctuated his punchline with this visual aid:
If that doesn’t get you feeling nostalgic for those thrilling days of yesteryear…
Here’s a look at tonight’s monologue from The Daily Social Distancing Show:
Noah tonight also virtually interviews Amandla Sternberg ahead of The Eddy premiere on Netflix: