Television

Stephen Colbert Tackles (Golden) Global Crisis As ‘Late Show’ Rings In 2020

The Late Show with Stephen Colbert returns from its holiday hiatus tonight, and the host is wasting no time catching up. “We’re happy to be back — really excited to be here,” Colbert said in opening his first monologue of the 2020s. “Now there have recently been momentous, world-shaking events, and let’s get right to the big story everybody’s talking about!”

The U.S. assassination of Iran’s top military leader?

Nah.

The massive Middle East protests sparked by Qasem Soleimani’s killing?

Pshaw.

Former National Security Adviser John Bolton saying he’ll testify in a Senate impeachment trial of President Donald Trump if subpoenaed?

As if.

So what’s “the big story everybody’s talking about”? Silly late-night talk-show viewers — of course it’s “the 77th annual Golden Globe Awards ceremony!” he gushed.

Colbert seized upon Sunday night’s trophy show, during which several winners opined on politics. “All the stars were there as we inch closer to yet another tragically ill-considered military conflict,” he said. “Including Salma Hayek, whose Gucci dress featured a neckline didn’t leave much to the imagination — unless you’re imagining an endless quagmire in the Middle East.”

He then turned (semi) serious.

“This is it, folks,” Colbert said. “This is what’s been keeping you up at night the last three years. It wasn’t the baggy suits, it wasn’t ‘covfefe‘ — it was [Trump’s] ability to wage war with no understanding of the consequences. And no one can stop him.”

Just when things threatened to get heavy, Colbert added: “Also, congratulations to Awkwafina for snagging a Globe for Best Actress. Well deserved!”

He then went on to talk about the Middle East situation, including a segment titled, “America at Whaaa? Crisis with Iran in Irag About Iran.” Watch the clip below.

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