We all have that non-single friend who is keen to ‘play’ on our dating apps, take a look at our profile and offer their advice. Let’s face it – it’s tough out there, we’ll take all the help we can get. But apps like The Inner Circle are taking this into their own hands, with an in-house screening team of matchmakers that consistently assess applicants’ profiles and support them with profile advice.
We spoke to Annabel, a matchmaker at The Inner Circle, about the profile picture and bio feedback she provides, the advice she has to share on why profiles might not be getting a lot of interaction and the right kinds of messages she encourages members to send – and she should know, it’s the app she found her husband on!
Whether it’s counselling members into getting back on the horse after a relationship they were really hopeful about didn’t work out, or just giving little confidence boosts to those who need an extra hand, Annabel’s part of a team responsible in helping build a community of eligible partners who are looking for love.
Here are her top tips for finding ‘the one’:
Never forget the power of the pick-up line
So often we can be plagued by the problem of meeting a new potential partner on a night out, organically, but have no clue whether they’re single. As Annabel says, “Online, you already know that everyone is open to love, but that opening line is as important as ever. I know it’s tempting to blast out a ‘hey’ and just see who responds – but I can tell you the people who use fun (even cheesy!) pick-up lines with a personal touch have the most success.”
Take it offline
There’s a lot to be said for the online selection process, but Annabel believes it’s important to remain open and meet people in person before you judge them. “Dating apps allow you to put the best image of yourself out there and enjoy a conversation in a safe environment. But you won’t find true love by keeping the conversation online. I know from my own experiences that there has to be a physical element. Even though my partner was not my ‘traditional’ type, we had such great chemistry when meeting each other and we vibed in every way. It was like I’ve known him already for ages and felt really comfortable being with him.
That’s why I truly believe in meeting each other face to face, even if it’s for a quick coffee or a long romantic dinner. The sparks will definitely light up even more in real life! I need to see the way someone laughs, feel the initial eye contact, and see their genuine reactions. You can’t tell if there’s real chemistry through sharing emojis.”
Pack your profile with personality
So exactly what makes a successful online profile? Annabel’s top tips = make sure your pictures are clear, you’re showcasing sufficient information and you’re remaining active.
“Profiles that show personality and tell a story are the most popular. If you showcase the real you, it will make it easier for others to start a genuine conversation. This includes what you enjoy doing, places you enjoy going to and original date ideas. The latter is so important!
Two members of our app set up a date in an airport once. Both their profiles mentioned that their jobs required them to travel a lot and we have a location and ‘next trip’ option on the app, so they were able to link up. The best part is that we’ve recently received news that they are expecting a baby and are about to get married. I stand by my point – quirky personalised dates are the best!”
Don’t take it personally
We’ve all been ghosted (and submarined, orbited, and a variety of other catchphrases I’ve lost count of) so many times that developing a thick skin just seems part of the game these days. Annabel advises that we really shouldn’t take it personally, as “the whole dating process has shifted from meeting someone in a bar to selecting people by just their profile (pictures) and online image. Remember – not everyone you meet online can see how amazing you are in real life. So, don’t let it get you down if you don’t match. And definitely get out there to meet people in person. Sparks could fly with someone you didn’t or wouldn’t connect with online.”
Be more open
There are a lot of filtering options on dating apps these days, and with such a huge pool of potentials it can be all-too-tempting to try and narrow it down by only looking our for your ‘type’. According to Annabel, this is limiting our potential…
“People may state in their bio that they are only attracted to people with dark hair, tall and a sporty build. But this cuts out a large group of alternative potential matches! That’s such a shame because true love often happens when we least expect it.
Also, UK singles have told us they make up their mind on a first date if they want to see that person in just 42 minutes. But should we really expect fireworks straightaway? I believe relationships grow. So, even if it wasn’t perfect, if you had a good time it’s worth a date two.”
To swipe or not to swipe?
So should we be completely open to meeting anyone and everyone?
“A lot of friends have asked me whether I’ve noticed more success in singles who are very selective versus those who throw their net far and wide. From what I’ve seen, it really is a balance. You don’t want to be so picky that you only message that perfect match who ticks all your boxes. But casting the net too wide doesn’t work either. It’s a total waste of time starting a conversation with a person who has completely different values to you.”
Is love a real possibility?
Is it definitely possible to find love via a dating app? We all know that couple who are an age-old success story we cling to when we’re swiping, but Annabel reaffirms that it’s definitely possible. “Over the past years we have received tons of wedding and baby cards through our match making. My mantra is believe in love and don’t get lazy when it comes to dating. Open yourself up to new connections and real adventures will start.”
What are you waiting for? No time like the present.