Such physical symptoms are the greatest cause for concern when it comes to ketamine dependency. Of course, as Torrance notes, there is a limit to how much ketamine one person can consume in one sitting, and that dose is much lower than one that could cause a pharmacological overdose. One study conducted on rodents found that the dose required to overdose when injecting ketamine is around 2.7 grams. However, especially in the UK, ketamine is mostly snorted, so the dose required to overdose is much higher. (That said, ketamine can still cause death by knocking someone unconscious, which could then lead to them dying through constricted airways, choking on vomit or, as in the tragic case of Friends actor Matthew Perry, drowning.)
Lily says she experienced “serious gallbladder complications” – a potential side effect of extreme ketamine use which can cause abdominal pain, nausea and vomiting – and hospital visits due to severe chest pains. She would then use even more ketamine to “blot out” the “extreme” physical pain — another double-edged sword.
The most common issue associated with high ketamine use is damage to the bladder and urinary tract, also known as ketamine bladder. Lily says she needed to go to the toilet “every 10 minutes or so”. “I’d avoid drinking water because I knew I’d have to go to the bathroom almost immediately after,” she says. Francesca has also experienced debilitating bladder issues. “I’ve had numerous UTIS, kidney infections, bladder infections that I’ve had to go to A&E for, which led to me having quite a few cystoscopies,” she says. “I got to the point where I was pretty much incontinent, and I was [passing] the lining of my bladder [in my urine].”
This almost completely derailed Francesca’s life. “It’s affected my friendships, my work relationships, my family, it’s changed my personality — like I am a completely different person,” she says. “Especially when I’m in physical pain — when I get the flare-ups, the pain is immense. I’m throwing up, I literally can’t move for days, I can’t sleep, my back is in agony, my kidneys are in agony, my bladder is in agony.
“I literally can’t move so I can’t do anything that’s expected of me when I’m suffering like that.”
Francesca’s social life suffered, too. “My friendships have suffered because either I’m lying to them or I’m under the influence, or I just cancel plans so that I can do ket or I’m ill from ket and I can’t hide it,” she says. Although her friends knew she was taking ketamine, Francesca didn’t want them to know how bad things were.
But she also lost her relationship with herself. “I’ve lost interest in all my hobbies and I can’t do anything I enjoy,” she says. “I’m a creative person, I like to paint, but I just don’t have the energy to do that and all I want to do is do ket.”
Eventually, she had to get a bladder biopsy, and although everything was fine, Francesca was prompted to quit for good. Now, she’s engaging with a local drug and alcohol service, doing both group and individual sessions. “I’ve also got an appointment next week with a hypnotherapist to address some of my previous life experiences and understand the route of it,” she says. Ideally, she would like to go to rehab, but she unfortunately can’t afford it.
Lily, who quit in June after reaching her “wit’s end”, was able to go to rehab and has since begun taking part in a 12-step programme, which she “continues to work every day”.
For those trying to outrun their minds, ketamine provides the perfect destination: oblivion. While those who become addicted to ketamine make up only a tiny proportion of those who use the drug recreationally and therapeutically, both Lily and Francesca show that the descent into addiction can be a slippery one, especially where mental health and trauma come into play, and something that once offered light relief can be the catalyst for chaos.
If you are struggling with addiction or substance abuse issues, you can book an appointment with your GP to discuss diagnosis and treatment. You can call the Frank drugs helpline on 0300 123 6600.
You can find your local GP here.