Dave Benett
But this time, it’s the thought of Sophie moving on ‘too quickly’ with another man after the breakdown of her relationship, as though she should remain in a period of chastity and mourning until her divorce is finalised and she’s legally allowed to exercise her sexual autonomy again – but not too much, mind.
It’s a sexist ritual we’ve seen play out repeatedly with rebound relationships: the women are labelled ‘nasty’, ‘crazy’ and ‘sluts’; while the men are painted as desolate wounded souls, innocent victims of the woman’s rampant promiscuity. They are the ones flooded with support and actively encouraged to move on. If Joe was the one reportedly moving on post-split, do you think he’d be receiving the same backlash? If history is anything to go by (Miley and Liam, anyone?), I think not.
In fact, men – famous or otherwise – are rarely demonised for moving from one sexual partner to another (to another). The more beautiful women they hook up with, the better. When women do it, we’re slut-shamed. We’re whores, cheaters, terrible mothers, the reason the relationship broke down. We’re the problem. In Sophie’s case, this isn’t just happening in private WhatsApp chats, but across the internet. I can’t imagine how invasive and unsettling that must feel.
Let’s not forget that though Sophie and Joe may have lived their relationship in very public domain, we don’t know what happened in their marriage or the reasons why it broke down, and we’re not entitled to know, either. It’s quite literally none of our business. Neither is who they choose to shack up with afterwards.
Isn’t it time we moved past the deeply misogynistic slut-shaming and just accept that women are allowed to move on however quickly they like after a break-up? Instead of calling Sophie a home-wrecker, let’s call her what she is: a grown woman free to make her own damn decisions.