What is human connection? What is this term, so often thrown around, but seemingly intangible?
It is so much easier to explain why we need it than what it is. From my conversations with digitally reared teens, I think knowing how to define human connection may be vital for Gen Z, who emerged as the loneliest of all generations in the Cigna Loneliness Index. How do we know when we’re making, or are in the presence of, a genuine human connection?
We have all experienced that moment where, when we meet someone for the first time, we’re on the exact same wavelength. Our opinions, morals, values, and worldviews are in sync. We see so much of ourselves in the other person that energy starts to spark off as the conversation flows and flows, and by the end of the meeting, we’re inspired to hug, shake hands, or, in some way, physically touch our new friend.
The connection feels right in our gut. It feels almost safe for us to disclose our vulnerabilities to this new person because we see so much of them in ourselves.
Let’s look at the five types of connection we need, based on the studies by some of the field’s best researchers:
1. Micro-connections
Tim Robberts
Every morning, when I lived in a small village in Switzerland called Eschlikon, I’d walk about six minutes to the train station to get the train to school in a larger city. On the way, I’d walk past other students, or the elderly getting their daily dose of fresh air. As we neared one another, looking me in the eye, they would say ‘grüezi’ to me. I’d say this back. It literally means ‘hello’ in Swiss dialect.
This would happen over and over again with anyone I’d meet in the village, a literal acknowledgement that you’re part of the tribe. You are seen. What a wonderful gift to a foreigner who spoke Swiss very badly. Physiologically, both parties would get some mood-boosting oxytocin from making eye contact and some stress-reducing dopamine, too.