One of the most heartbreaking moments in the history of Teen Mom has always been when Catelynn Lowell and Tyler Baltierra made the decision to place their daughter, Carly, for adoption.
They were so young themselves, and both of their home lives were chaotic and abusive, so they did what was best for their baby.
It was an incredibly selfless decision, and it’s something that both Catelynn and Tyler have struggled with all these years since.
And, believe it or not, it’s actually been 13 entire years since their first daughter, Carly, was born.
Time flies, right?
Yep, it’s been 13 years since MTV filmed that absolutely devastating episode of 16 and Pregnant, since Catelynn and Tyler sobbed after she gave birth to Carly.
It’s been 13 years since they handed Carly over to her parents, Brandon and Theresa.
It has to be a bittersweet time for them, thinking of what could have been if they’d made a different choice and thinking of how her life is now that she’s officially a teenager.
But it turns out that we don’t have to wonder too much about what they’re thinking — and that’s because Tyler has written a poem about the situation that he shared on Instagram.
Along with the poem, he shared a photo from the hospital of him and Cate holding baby Carly, and for the caption he wrote “Happy 13th Birthday Carly! I don’t really have the words to describe how I feel today… so I figured I’d share a poem that I wrote for her instead.”
The poem is pretty intense, to say the least, so let’s just read it together then we’ll go over it, all right?
I never wanted to let you go
I hope you understand
I wanted to hold you in my arms forever
Like your figners around my pinky
In the palm of your little hand.
I reminisce of your beautiful little face
Swaddled so tight in your baby blanket
Your spirit so innocent … & guess what?
I still have that baby blanket …
It’s folded in the best by my bed
& sometimes I unravel it
Just to put it around my neck
& pretend it’s you I’m holding instead
Because everyday I wake up
With you beating in my heart
& dancing in my head
Oh how I wish you could
Twirl in my hands
One day soon my love…
I promise we will dance again
But until that day comes
I’ll be seeing you in my dreams
Replaying the sweet memory on repeat
Of my pinky in the palm of your little hand
And there’s the poem.
It’s a lot, you know?
It’s such a difficult topic, too, because there’s clearly been a lot of trauma surrounding Carly’s adoption for Tyler and Catelynn, and he especially has never seemed to fully process it.
They’ve both made comments in the past that made it sound like they think Carly is going to drop everything as soon as she turns 18 and move to Michigan to be with them, and that just doesn’t seem likely at all.
A lot of people think that now that Carly is getting older, it might be uncomfortable for this kind of stuff to be floating around out there.
After all, even though she’s biologically their daughter, she’s only seen them a handful of times, and for Tyler to be posting poems about her with lines like “One day soon my love I promise we will dance again” …
Yeah, like we said, it’s a lot.
What do you think about Tyler’s poem?