We had to throw in a special mention for the song that broke the internet, plus it featured Jay-Z, so it obviously deserves an honorary place in the top 10.
Whew! Mama Ri Ri really had some tunes.
Disclaimers: We thought about that insensitive ‘keeping it in the drafts’ comment earlier in this piece, and in reality, we all agreed that Rihanna doesn’t actually have 10 BAD songs. We were very much grasping at straws here, but in our humble opinion, here are 10 that didn’t earn their place on the greatest hits album.
And here are Rihanna’s 10 ‘worst’ songs of all time:
10. Shut Up And Drive, Good Girl Gone Bad: Reloaded
Dear Navy, before you come for us, hear us out. These rockstar Rihanna tunes didn’t give all they were ‘supposed to have gave’. It’s not one of the worst songs ever, it’s just not one of Rihanna’s best?
9. S.O.S, A Girl like Me
The lyrics were a little lazy on this one. The irony of us saying this after naming ‘Work’ as our favourite number one song — except that the beat felt repetitive and a little hard to dance to. Rihanna lost us at: “You got me tossin’ and turnin’, can’t sleep at night”, Ri, the leader of the Navy being weak in the knees? STAND UP! It’s just that it felt off-brand so we had to mark it down.
8. Disturbia, Good Girl Gone Bad
Before you lose your mind, there is a reason why Disturbia is in the dog house with us. It was simply overplayed. The quality did not match the popularity and for that reason we had to mark it down. It was giving gothic Rihanna, and we liked that, but the song did not live up to the standard of her other hit singles.
7. Roc Me Out, Rated R
It’s not that it’s a bad song. It’s just that it’s probably the least memorable from this Rated R album. This was Rihanna’s alter ego album and we just needed a bit more from this tune. Even the big-sounding synths couldn’t save this one.
6. Raining Men, Loud
The only raining men recognisable enough to be replayed is the one by The Weather Girls. For that reason alone this song fails to make it to the greatest hits.
5. Photographs, Rated R
Again, this is another one of those not-so-bad songs but with forgettable tune and cliche lyrics like “All I’ve got are these photographs”. In a sea of Rihanna heavy-hitting one-liners and hard beats, we just needed a bit more.
4. Fire Bomb, Rated R
Underwhelming if anything. A nice song, with nice lyrics, but Ri’s set the bar high, and this didn’t hit it.
3. Music Of The Sun, Music Of The Sun
This song was cute, but we’ve heard something like this in a Latin version of Eurovision, or in a local open mic night. Cute, but no more worthy to hit the greatest hits list than the ones above.
2. Rush, Music Of The Sun
Okay, so this song is fun, and it’s very much in the spirit of Music Of The Sun, with an island sound. However, this wasn’t the song where Rihanna’s vocals were at their peak and the riffs and runs were safe and we don’t know Rihanna to play it ‘safe’. So we’re tapping out from this one too.
1. There’s A Thug In My Life, Music Of The Sun
Aside from the questionable name, this is definitely a tune from Rihanna’s debut album ‘Music Of The Sun’ which should have stayed in the draft folder.
Let’s end on a good note though. So a message to the queen: Happy Birthday, Rihanna, we love you so much, thank you for creating the perfect soundtrack for our lives, hope to hear more from you soon! xoxo
For more from Glamour UK Beauty & Entertainment Assistant Shei Mamona, follow her on Instagram @sheimamona