You’re closer to her than any of your actual relatives but the downside to that is she feels entitled to give you the Spanish inquisition on your dating life every time she sees you.
- Survival tip: Despite her protests she cannot keep a secret so whatever you do, do not confide in her about your current beau, unless you want it repeated verbatim to your mum.
Your un-PC uncle
He’s your uncle, you love him, but it’s impossible to hide your irritation when it feels like someone invited Piers Morgan round for dinner.
Your nan loved watching John and Johannes on Strictly Come Dancing? The loud guffaw from the other room says all you need to know. A harmless, nostalgic chat about your favourite childhood Christmas presents is the conversation starter he’s been waiting for because “did you know you can’t even call Mr Potato Head a Mr anymore?”
- Survival tip: Despite your mum shooting you daggers; a healthy debate is what he’s craving and if it gets you out of the washing up it’s worth at least attempting to educate him.
The grumpy grandad
Don’t be fooled by the corduroy trousers and walking stick, he might seem harmless, but of all the dinner guests the impossible to please grandad is the one most likely to be the straw that breaks your poor mother’s back.
The turkey’s too dry, his chair’s too low and his dominance over the TV volume means conversation is all but impossible. His blistering review of your mum’s cooking has left her seething in the kitchen and everyone’s counting down the hours until he goes home.
- Survival tip: Despite how it may seem, your grumpy grandad does want to be there, he just doesn’t get out much anymore. Rather than driving him home early to see the evening in alone, indulge him in some conversation about his youth, it’s sure to crack a smile.
The prodigal sibling
Despite being absent all other 364 days of the year, their surprise arrival is all your mum can talk about.
Paraded around like an Antique’s Roadshow collectible, your mum can’t stop rubbing their arm and exclaiming how pleased she is to see them, regardless of the fact the only present they brought her is a pile of dirty washing.
Jokes on them though because while everyone is asking about their new job in crypto currency, you know they’re currently unemployed and will be asking you for a tenner to go down the pub with their mates later.