We’re all familiar with the likes of catfishing and ghosting, but what about kittenfishing, the newbie that’s doing the rounds right now?
Catfishing was popularised by Nev Shulman’s 2010 documentary, which saw him fall (virtually) for a girl who actually didn’t exist, and instead was being ‘played’ as a role by her mother.
So what is kittenfishing, the (only slightly) less alarming iteration of catfishing, which involves little white lies rather than huge over-arching ones? GLAMOUR investigates…
What is kittenfishing?
As mentioned, kittenfishing is catfishing’s younger sister. Essentially, it involves tweaking small details about your appearance or your life to make you appear ‘better’ on dating apps, as opposed to claiming to be a different person entirely, as in catfishing.
Examples of this include adjusting your height or age, or only sharing pictures where you hide certain features you may not be that confident with. Men who are bald, for example, may wear hats in all their snaps. Similarly, people may use much older photos of themselves from years ago, which they no longer look much like.
It can also be used in a way to depict a user’s lifestyle in a different way. For example, somebody may ‘embellish’ their job title to sound much more impressive, or indicate from pictures that they live a lifestyle they perhaps don’t tend to usually.
Kittenfishing was first coined by Hinge as a term, and it’s actually been around for several years now, but has only gained traction of late.
Why do people kittenfish?
The reasons behind why people kittenfish may seem obvious; it’s a way to hide certain features about yourself you may feel insecure or less confident about. Dating app culture is notoriously doused in judgement, meaning people using them can naturally feel worried about being judged about certain features of their appearance of lifestyle.
Sharone Weltfried, a licensed clinical psychologist, shared with NBC News that many people kittenfish to ‘entice’ somebody onto a date so they can win them over properly in person.
“Kittenfishers try to optimize the likelihood of getting a first date because they believe they can win people over in person with their personality, charm, wit, intelligence, sense of humor, etc.,” she told them.
How can you avoid kittenfishing?
Unfortunately, while kittenfishing is generally considered less ‘serious’ a dating app offence as catfishing (where you pretend to be an entirely different person completely), it can still be damaging, and pretty manipulative; indeed, you will feel duped and deceived when going on a date with somebody who has been telling little white lies from the beginning.
While it may be intended as harmless, it could be a negative sign of things to come should you further your relationship with somebody who has kittenfished you, as lying may become the default.
It’s tough to be sure if somebody is telling you the truth about their height, appearance, job, and lifestyle until you actually meet them, but there are ways to potentially recognise kittenfishing to keep yourself safe.
According to Stephen Mansfield, CO-CEO and founder of Fitafy, a dating app for those interested in fitness, “There are a few warning signs that you should look out for that could be an indicator that you’re being kitten fished. First things first, trust your instincts; if someone sounds too good to be true, they probably are. No one is faultless. Another big red flag would be a lack of detail; kittenfishers will avoid going into detail about themselves.”
They add: “Obviously, we all want to show off our best selves – especially when on the dating scene, but it’s important to be true to yourself and others. So, before you even complete your online dating profile, get a friend to look over it and be honest with you about whether they recognise what you’ve written about yourself.
“Check your pics too. Are you using a photo that looks like you? Or is it too filtered? Don’t be tempted to embellish the truth to win over someone’s affection, honesty really is the best policy.”
The truth is, many of us may be guilty of kittenfishing to an extent ourselves; sometimes we embellish how exciting our life can be (hello, Instagram), add an inch or two onto our height, or knock a year off our age. And while most of this is harmless, kittenfishing can absolutely be more serious if taken further.
Plus, lying about anything with somebody you hope to date is just a bad way to kick things off; wouldn’t it be easier if we all just existed in a place of total transparency and honesty?!