Pop Culture

This Is 40 for Ivanka Trump

The former president’s daughter has a lot of reasons to celebrate.

Ivanka Trump celebrated her upcoming 40th birthday by hitting the town (Miami) with a group of the girls. They had “champagne,” munched down on “caviar” and “cake,” and enjoyed “boating” and “bubbly,” all according to a person that might also work for a Live, Laugh, Love decor website when not giving anonymous quotes to Page Six

It must feel good to have an occasion to celebrate while also far away from Washington. To be surrounded by some fellow white women still willing to be photographed with her. To have at least a little physical distance from the House Select Subcommittee on the Coronavirus Crisis. It found, after a ProPublica investigation, that the Farmers to Families Food Box program, which Ivanka spearheaded, gave an absolute ton of money to companies with “no relevant experience” that “often lacked necessary licenses.”

“The yearlong congressional investigation also identified problems with the deliveries themselves, including food safety issues, failed deliveries, and uneven food distribution. Some contractors also forced recipient organizations to accept more food than they could distribute or store,” ProPublica reports. 

Why would a person doing a job for which they have no relevant experience hire other people to do jobs for which they have no relevant experience? A mystery for our times.

The thing is, and no disrespect to the art of entertaining here, Ivanka can really organize a party. In photos published by Page Six, the group dined at a long table together. One wonders what they were all talking about. Their new favorite magazine cover? Just a general survey of who’s divorced, who’s remarried, who’s dating? Politics? Religion? Their last vacation? Their next vacation? “This is 40,” one can hear Ivanka say through a sigh. “What?” a friend asks. “I said, We should try the porgy.”

What we do know from Page Six’s source is that “Jared [Kushner] made a cameo at the Surf Club dinner.” “Go away, groomie! You can’t see her until the big day!” one of the gals maybe yelled, before realizing with a start this wasn’t bachelorette weekend ’09. 

But none of this is really fair. Ivanka is clearly thriving. The climate in Miami really is so much better for her than up north. She’s reportedly got a new mansion that has more bathrooms than bedrooms, which is the real American dream when adjusted for inflation. 

She and and her husband also reportedly own a tract on the exclusive private island called Indian Creek (the couple made up to $640 million in outside income over the four years Ivanka’s dad was in office, according to a government watchdog). The possibilities are endless. She could build a real fortress on that island if she wanted to. It could have everything she ever wanted, all custom everything, whatever she could dream of at her fingertips. One day she could even celebrate 50 with an intimate dinner with neighbors who reportedly include Tom Brady and Carl Icahn, on the billionaires’ islands all barricaded inwardly and outwardly from the rising tide. 

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When does it start getting lighter?