I try to not be prescriptive and encourage experimentation. Try starting with a few products, preferably from the same line, and experiment with different styling techniques. Each trial and error is an opportunity to learn more about your hair, and if it doesn’t work don’t worry, every perceived ‘fail’ is an opportunity to learn something new.
A quick side note: Don’t forget to take photos! It’s so easy to get caught up in the process of understanding our hair that we can miss all the amazing progress we make. So snap lots of pictures so you can do before and after side-by-sides – you’ll thank me later!
Know that perfection is a myth
Lastly, I want to talk about expectation.
Curls, like us, have a tendency to want to do their own thing which is frustrating at times – why can’t every wash day be a carbon copy of the last!
And let’s face it, we tend to be much harder on ourselves. I know from experience that it’s easy to be self critical about our own hair whilst being oblivious to (or wilfully ignoring) the same things in other people. But having realistic expectations of your hair is key to building a lasting relationship with it so make sure you treat yourself, and your hair, with the same compassion that you extend to others.
Let go of the idea of perfection and remember that faultless, ‘frizz-free’ hair simply doesn’t exist – as much as social media may make you feel. Repeat after me – frizz is a great quality of healthy hair!
I spent my younger years trying too hard to make my hair fit inside a box that made me shrink everything about myself – I was afraid that any sort of volume would make me stand out. Then when I was older and started transitioning, I was anxious about not having the ‘right’ curls.
I found that surrounding myself with people who looked like me and embraced their natural hair, in all its forms, was incredibly helpful. For me this created a virtual support structure and I am still grateful to the people that helped give me the confidence and reassurance to go natural. Now, I embrace the frizz and love the volume that it creates and hope that I can help be a small part in other peoples journeys too.