Rock Bottom: Rudy Giuliani Is One Week Away From Waxing His Back in the Middle of a Sweetgreen

One of the most burning questions of the last decade does not concern the existence of UFOs, or who shot Kennedy, but Rudy Giuliani and what the hell happened to him. Once “America’s Mayor,” Giuliani has spent the last half a decade hitting rock bottom over and over and over again, each time falling so far and so hard that no one would dare imagine things could get any worse but somehow do. A very brief list of situations the former mayor turned Trump attorney turned cautionary tale has found himself in recently includes but is not limited to:

• Showing up in a scene from Borat Subsequent Moviefilm: Delivery of Prodigious Bribe to American Regime for Make Benefit Once Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan with his hand down his pants
• Holding a press conference outside of Four Seasons Total Landscaping, the one next to the crematorium and sex-toy shop, instead of the Four Seasons Four Seasons
• Holding a press conference with what appeared to be hair dye dripping down his face
• Having his home and office raided as part of a criminal probe into his Ukraine dealings
• Being the subject of an unrelated Department of Justice probe into his Turkey dealings
• Having his law license suspended in New York and D.C. for election-fraud lies
• Losing his bid to dismiss a $1.3 billion lawsuit against him for said election-fraud lies
• Reportedly going broke because the man for whom he routinely humiliated himself won’t lend him any cash or give him the time of day

All pretty bad and truly cringeworthy! Arguably less bad and significantly less cringeworthy than shaving in the middle of a restaurant where people are consuming food, which yes, is a thing the former mayor for some reason decided to do over the weekend:

Rudy Giuliani was blasted on social media after Donald Trump’s former personal lawyer was seen shaving as he ate at an airport restaurant. Video of the bizarre incident was shot by traveler Nick Weiss at New York’s John F. Kennedy International Airport and reposted by actor Michael Rapaport, who had some harsh words for the former mayor of the city. “Look at these disgusting filthy nasty slob (Rudy Giuliani) shaving in a restaurant at JFK yesterday. You nasty pig you #Rudy,” he wrote.

Is Rapaport being a bit harsh? Maybe. Is this absolutely one of the most bizarre decisions Giuliani has made in his 77 years on earth, including the time he married his second cousin? Most certainly. Is this literally one of the weirdest places to choose to do personal grooming that involves hair removal? That’s an incontrovertible fact. (Let it be known that, according to the person who shot the video, the shaving occurred a few steps away from a “really nice” bathroom. Let is also be known that even if a bathroom wasn’t nearby, this still wouldn’t be acceptable.)

Mr. Giuliani was spotted inside the Delta One lounge, which is available to first and business class passengers using the airline. There he ate a bowl of lobster bisque, before he was brought some chocolate brownies, Mr. Weiss told DailyMail.com.

Then, instead of going to the bathroom to carry out his personal grooming, M.r Giuliani brought out his electric shaver and began tidying himself up on the spot.