Folks, it’s finally happening.
Even though she hasn’t made any sort of announcement yet, it’s become clear that Jana Duggar is being courted by Stephen Wissmann, a Nebraska-based pilot and businessman.
This is big news for Duggar fans (assuming there are any of those left) as it means that the eldest and most put-upon member of the family — the so-called “Cinderella Duggar” — will finally be freed from her parents’ clutches.
Even though they’re losing their most productive unpaid laborer, we’re sure Jim Bob and Michelle are thrilled with this development, as their hunger for more grandchildren can never be sated.
However, Jana’s younger siblings might be a bit bummed, as now their future dates will probably be chaperoned by their parents.
You’re probably familiar with the infamous Duggar courtship rules, which are designed to coerce young adults to get married and start breeding out of sexual frustration.
Regardless of their age, unmarried couples are not allowed to kiss, hold hands for an extended period of time, or hug face-to-face, as such a gesture might bring their genitals within sinful proximity to one another.
Instead, Duggar daters are encouraged to “side hug,” so that only the non-devilish parts of their body come into contact.
Still, the most ridiculous part of the Duggar Dating Code is the fact that unmarried couples are never permitted to be alone together.
Seems like that would make it pretty tough for a couple to get to know each other, but Jim Bob doesn’t have to worry about that.
After all, divorce is also forbidden, so if the couple has regrets after the wedding, they’re SOL!
Despite being 31 years old, Jana is suffering under these rules for the first time.
But on the bright side, at least she’ll be able to abandon her gig as the fundie community’s designated chaperone.
We’ve known for a while that Jana was forced to tag along on her younger siblings’ dates to ensure that they didn’t violate the sacred rules.
But as redditors at the r/duggarsnark subreddit discovered this week, other fundie families also employed Jana’s services.
Back in 2015, Jana served as chaperone for Michael Bates — a member of the equally-orthodox Bates family — and her future husband, Brandon Keilen.
Obviously, the dates went well, as Michael and Brando married shortly thereafter, but commenters were quick to point out the absurdity of Jana babysitting two adults.
“‘Chaperoning’ grown-ups on their first date,” one Reddit user observed. “Oh, what a joy.”
“I never understood chaperoning,” another added.
“They’re in public and well-known — it’s not like they could do anything without someone telling [their] parents.”
“Jana would be a fun chaperone. It could be way worse,” a third person pointed out, while another offered up a new nickname for Jana:
Jana has been a third wheel for so long that we should really just call her The Tricycle,” they wrote.
As for Jana’s relationship with Stephen, one Reddit user says it’s going quite well:
“I’m from Nebraska and the Wissmanns live about 15-20 minutes away from me,” this person wrote.
“A few people that I sort of know commented on a post from Without a Crystal Ball that they saw Jana at a truck stop in Nebraska City.”
Sounds like Jana’s days as a professional third wheel are officially at an end!