On Sunday paparazzi spotted Ben Affleck without his girlfriend, Jennifer Lopez—a rarity since, say, May. The actor took two of his kids, Samuel and Seraphina, to Universal CityWalk, along with one of J. Lo’s twins, Emme. This is a huge day—a sign that two people are meshing their families together publicly, with one trusting the other with her most precious cargo.
But it’s also significant for perhaps more important reasons. If you’re playing Affleck’s food-franchise bingo, then that’s one for Wetzel’s Pretzels, please.
This is a man who has made an art of carrying bags, boxes, whatever, as if he’s a normal guy who’s never played Batman and has neither a handler on call to distribute sips of Dunkies nor a house manager to grab the Amazon packages from the stoop. Always, it seems, there’s some kind of treat hanging in the balance.
And here he is carrying the Wetzel’s himself. You can almost hear him say, “Do you guys want some Wetzel’s Pretzels?” And the kids say, “Maybe later? We’re not really hungry yet.” And he says, “No, you’re going to love these pretzels,” and then buys more than enough for everyone, including himself. And the kids do like the pretzels, but the one who loves them the most is Ben Affleck.
And that’s great because you know what needs promotion? Junk food. Big Wellness has been coming for its hind for years. Who will be the protector of simple pleasures like saturated fats? Who will be the guardian of high levels of sodium? Of drinking way too much Dunkin’ and feeling a bit off for the rest of the day? It’s Affleck. It was always going to be Affleck. I really think junk food is starting to make some headway against the Goopification of diets, no small thanks to this guy. Ditto Boston sports, but that’s for another blog in which we sub in his “Don’t Poke the Bear” hockey tee and other shirts of choice.
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