Rudy Giuliani Should Probably Finish Up That Associates Degree in Mortuary Science

Are you looking for legal representation? Were you hoping to hire an attorney with an extremely specific background, one who can say he has intimate knowledge not only of the legal field but also what it’s like to:

Unfortunately, then, we’ve got disappointing news: as of today, Rudy Giuliani is not currently licensed to practice law. Here’s CNN with the sad story:

Rudy Giuliani, the former personal lawyer for former President Donald Trump who once held one of the legal profession’s most prestigious jobs, was suspended Thursday from practicing law in New York state by an appellate court that found he made “demonstrably false and misleading statements” about the 2020 election. In a ruling released following disciplinary proceedings, the court concluded that “there is uncontroverted evidence” that Giuliani, the former Manhattan U.S. attorney, “communicated demonstrably false and misleading statements to courts, lawmakers and the public at large in his capacity as lawyer for former President Donald J. Trump and the Trump campaign in connection with Trump’s failed effort at reelection in 2020.”

Giuliani’s “conduct immediately threatens the public interest and warrants interim suspension from the practice of law,” the court wrote. The suspension of his law license marks a precipitous fall for the former New York City mayor, once considered an accomplished and formidable force in legal circles. In recent years, however, Giuliani’s reputation has suffered as he has come under criminal investigation by the office he used to lead, the Manhattan U.S. Attorney’s office, for possible illegal lobbying. He has denied wrongdoing. “We find that there is evidence of continuing misconduct, the underlying offense is incredibly serious, and the uncontroverted misconduct in itself will likely result in substantial permanent sanctions at the conclusion of these disciplinary proceedings,” the court wrote.

According to reporters Erica Orden, Veronica Stracqualursi, and Katelyn Polantz, Giuliani had previously told the court that he would “exercise personal discipline” and stop making statements about the election in his capacity as an attorney, and then proceeded to…continue making false statements. Which sounds exactly like something one Rudolph Giuliani would do. “The seriousness of respondent’s uncontroverted misconduct cannot be overstated,” the court wrote. “This country is being torn apart by continued attacks on the legitimacy of the 2020 election and of our current president, Joseph R. Biden. The hallmark of our democracy is predicated on free and fair elections. False statements intended to foment a loss of confidence in our elections and resulting loss of confidence in government generally damage the proper functioning of a free society.”

In response to the ruling, Giuliani’s lawyers, John Leventhal and Barry Kamins, said that they “are disappointed with the Appellate Division, First Department’s decision suspending Mayor Giuliani prior to being afforded a hearing on the issues that are alleged. This is unprecedented as we believe that our client does not pose a present danger to the public interest. We believe that once the issues are fully explored at a hearing Mr. Giuliani will be reinstated as a valued member of the legal profession that he has served so well in his many capacities for so many years.” In a hilarious bit of irony, Giuliani was scheduled to appear in a D.C. court on Thursday for proceedings in a defamation suit against him from Dominion Voting Systems, which is suing him and others for claiming the company was responsible for election fraud. (As you may recall, it was at one of Giuliani’s November press conferences that Trump ally Sidney Powell claimed that Dominion was in cahoots with Hugo Chávez, the late president of Venezuela, to throw the election. She was obviously also sued, as was MyPillow guy Mike Lindell.)

Naturally, the ex-president responded to the news of Giuliani’s license being suspended with a statement that read: “Can you believe that New York wants to strip Rudy Giuliani, a great American Patriot, of his law license because he has been fighting what has already been proven to be a Fraudulent Election? The greatest mayor in the history of New York City, the Eliot Ness of his generation, one of the greatest crime fighters our Country has ever known, and this is what the Radical Left does to him.”

“All of New York is out of control, crime is at an all-time high—it’s nothing but a Witch Hunt, and they should be ashamed of themselves. TAKE BACK AMERICA!”

Giuliani’s son, Andrew, who is currently running for governor of New York, also had something to say about the news, shot in what appears to be a parking lot off of the Saw Mill River Parkway:

Anyway, if you’ve got alternative career ideas for Rudy, he’d probably be happy to hear ’em!

If you would like to receive the Levin Report in your inbox daily, click here to subscribe.

Report: Donald “COVID-19 is no big deal” nearly died of COVID-19

Unfortunately, the near-death experience did not involve a personality transplant, as Washington Post reporters Damian Paletta and Yasmeen Abutaleb report in an excerpt from their forthcoming book, Nightmare Scenario: Inside the Trump Administration’s Response to the Pandemic That Changed History:

Trump’s condition worsened early Saturday. His blood oxygen level dropped to 93 percent, and he was given the powerful steroid dexamethasone, which is usually administered if someone is extremely ill (the normal blood oxygen level is between 95 and 100 percent). The drug was believed to improve survival in coronavirus patients receiving supplemental oxygen. The president was on a dizzying array of emergency medicines by now—all at once.… At least two of those who were briefed on Trump’s medical condition that weekend said he was gravely ill and feared that he wouldn’t make it out of Walter Reed. People close to Trump’s chief of staff, Mark Meadows, said he was consumed with fear that Trump might die.

Just as the country had been watching a few days before, many people tuned in again as Trump took Marine One back to the White House’s South Lawn on Monday night.… [CDC director Robert] Redfield was watching on television from home. He was praying as Trump went up the steps. Praying that he would reach the Truman Balcony and show some humility. That he would remind people that anyone could be susceptible to the coronavirus—even the president, the first lady and their son. That he would tell them how they could protect themselves and their loved ones.

But Trump didn’t waver. Facing the cameras from the balcony, he used his right hand to unhook the mask loop from his right ear, then raised his left hand to pull the mask off his face. He was heavily made up, his face more orange tinted than in the photos from the hospital. The helicopter’s rotors were still spinning. He put the mask into his right pocket, as if he was discarding it once and for all, then raised both hands in a thumbs-up. He was still probably contagious, standing there for all the world to see. He made a military salute as the helicopter departed the South Lawn, and then strode into the White House, passing staffers on his way and failing to protect them from the virus particles emitted from his nose and mouth. Right then, Redfield knew it was over. Trump showed in that moment that he hadn’t changed at all. The pandemic response wasn’t going to change, either.

And now Trump is out there telling parents not to get their kids vaccinated for the coronavirus, despite the fact that nearly all deaths from the disease are among unvaccinated people. Because he’s just that kinda guy. (Now would be a good a time as any to urge people not to take parenting or medical advice from Donald Trump.)

Of course Trump wanted the military to shoot racial justice protesters

He wanted to send COVID-infected Americans to Guantánamo Bay, so it only makes sense that he would try to have people he disagreed with killed. Per CNN:

The top U.S. general repeatedly pushed back on then president Donald Trump’s argument that the military should intervene violently in order to quell the civil unrest that erupted around the country last year. Joint Chiefs Chairman Gen. Mark Milley often found he was the lone voice of opposition to those demands during heated Oval Office discussions, according to excerpts of a new book, obtained by CNN, from Wall Street Journal reporter Michael Bender. Titled Frankly, We Did Win This Election: The Inside Story of How Trump Lost, the book reveals new details about how Trump’s language became increasingly violent during Oval Office meetings as protests in Seattle and Portland began to receive attention from cable new outlets. The president would highlight videos that showed law enforcement getting physical with protesters and tell his administration he wanted to see more of that behavior, the excerpts show.

“That’s how you’re supposed to handle these people,” Trump told his top law enforcement and military officials, according to Bender. “Crack their skulls!” Trump also told his team that he wanted the military to go in and “beat the f–k out” of the civil rights protesters, Bender writes. “Just shoot them,” Trump said on multiple occasions inside the Oval Office, according to the excerpts.

According to Bender, when Milley and then attorney general Bill Barr would explain to Trump that they couldn‘t “just shoot” protesters, he came up with an alternative suggestion. “Well, shoot them in the leg—or maybe the foot,” Trump said. “But be hard on them!”

Eric Trump went on TV to complain that the Trumps are constantly being subpoenaed while Hunter Biden gets a free pass

“We live clean lives, Sean,” he told the Fox News host, which is an interesting point of view given that he and his siblings were literally forced to take remedial classes to learn how to not rip off a charity.

Elsewhere!

Biden, Senators Get $579 Billion Bipartisan Infrastructure Deal (Bloomberg)

Six Days in Suez: The Inside Story of the Ship That Broke Global Trade (Bloomberg)

House panel votes “yes” on bill that could break up Big Tech (Reuters)

A “shadow reality world” promotes the lie that the 2020 election was stolen (Washington Post)

Pelosi announces a select committee will investigate January 6 attack on Capitol (Washington Post)

Lord of the Roths: How Tech Mogul Peter Thiel Turned a Retirement Account for the Middle Class Into a $5 Billion Tax-Free Piggy Bank (ProPublica)

Massachusetts bar accepting Monopoly money for two hours (UPI)

“This is a food bank now“: Workers seized a McDonald‘s in France (Washington Post)

— Inside Jeffrey Epstein’s Decades-Long Relationship With Leslie Wexner
— Trump’s Deranged Replacement Theory Might’ve Lost Him the Election
— Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk Want to Burn Their Cash in Space
— Three Texans Bust Myths About the Alamo’s Famous “Last Stand”
— The Guy Who Could Send Trump to Prison May Soon Cooperate With the Feds
— Bill and Melinda Gates’s Epic Divorce Saga Enters Its Next Phase
— Juneteenth, Critical Race Theory, and the Winding Road Toward Reckoning
— Trump Is Now Urging People Not to Vaccinate Their Kids Against COVID
— From the Archive: Microsoft’s Odd Couple, in the Words of Paul Allen
— Not a subscriber? Join Vanity Fair to receive full access to VF.com and the complete online archive now.