Ok, so yes sex is great and orgasm feels incredible, but while there’s nothing bad about sticking to the one tried-and-tested method that gets you all fired up, there are actually plenty of different types of orgasms your body is capable of reaching, should you know the right buttons to, um, press.
Neil Wilkie, relationship expert, psychotherapist and author of the Relationship Paradigm Series of books, told GLAMOUR, “The ancient belief was that the only purpose of sex was to procreate with your ideal partner and ensure the survival of the human race. Since then, we have come to realise that sex is a hugely important form of connection and fun.”
He added, “I believe that the original purpose of both male and female orgasms was to make the sexual act highly enjoyable. This was so that we would want to engage in what could be seen as a rather odd act of inserting an appendage into a hole and doing some wiggling and grunting! We now have many years of development and are much more aware of what is desirable and can be pleasurable.”
Here, Wilkie helps uncover the different types of female orgasms out here…
Clitoral orgasm: This is the female version of the penis and becomes engorged and sensitive when aroused.
G-Spot orgasm: This is the mystery place that sexual partners may need a map and a torch to find.
A-Spot (just beneath the cervix) orgasm: This is a newly-discovered and labelled bundle of nerves with an erotic function.
O-Spot (at the back wall of the vagina) orgasm: The same story as the A-Spot.
Nipple orgasm: The breasts and nipples are major erogenous zones and some women can orgasm just through touching of this area.
Anal orgasm: The anus is very close to the vagina and clitoris and share many of the same nerves and muscles so anal stimulation can create an orgasm.
Blended orgasm: A cocktail of several physical and emotional stimuli can create a wonderfully intense orgasm.
Squirting orgasm: Some women, when highly aroused will emit fluid from the urethral glands on orgasm.
Coregasm: Women can reach orgasm from intense, core-based workouts.
Sleep orgasm: Wet dreams are common in pubescent boys and can also happen when women have erotic dreams.
Music orgasm: Music can be a real turn on; it can create tingles down the spine and stimulate erotic thoughts and sensations.
Multiple orgasm: These are possible for women, if they want to build from the first orgasm rather than believe it is all over. For men it is rare but also possible if they can hold back from ejaculating and hold onto the high.
How to achieve an orgasm
While hitting the right spots are all well and good, there’s far more to understanding how to reach a sexual climax. Wikie warns, “When the focus is on the destination of an orgasm rather than the journey of connection, arousal, and mutual satisfaction then we are in danger of disappointment. If we are looking at which bits of the body to stimulate rather than what we are thinking and how we are feeling, we are missing out on even deeper pleasure,” he adds.
“The first stage to achieve an orgasm is desire or arousal. This can be slow and sensuous or fast and furious. The most important organ in an orgasm is the brain,” says Wilkie.
“This plays a much larger part in the journey than any other body part as it generates the initial desire, decides which tunes the body parts are playing and delivers the orgasm. The brain is receiving a wide range of signals which it tries to build into a pattern and decide if these make erotic sense.”
These senses include:
Sight: What are we seeing and is this arousing us? Do we like candles and soft light, darkness or to see everything?
Sounds: What can we hear and is this appropriate. Does music play a part?
Smells: These can be aphrodisiacs, think vanilla, jasmine, rose and others.
Touch: This has the strongest impact and is one that can be varied
Tastes: The taste of someone’s skin and fluids can be incredibly erotic
Memories: What conscious and subconscious memories are being engaged and do these take us to a good place or hold us back?
Thoughts: What are we thinking and how strong is our attention? If we are distracted and writing a shopping list in our head, then the orgasm may be reduced or non-existent. If we are truly present and in the moment, we are much more likely to have a great orgasm.
Connection: If we are having sex with another person, how strongly are we feeling connected to them. If we are not, then it will be transactional sex. If we feel truly connected to them at all emotional levels then it will be making love and the orgasm is likely to be even deeper.