Gossip & Rumors

Kourtney Kardashian Sizzles in a Golden Bikini: Wanna Be Hot Like Me?

There are few people on the planet who can match Kourtney Kardashian’s hotness in a bikini.

She has been reminding the world of this fact during her courtship with Travis Barker.

Kourt is also connecting her hot bod to her brand in order to rake in more dough.

That, more than anything else, is the family business.

Kourtney posted a series of jaw-dropping pics of her wearing a glittering golden bikini.

She shows off her flat abs and enticing curves while lounging beside and in the pool.

When you look up MILF in the dictionary, they should just have a photo of Kourtney.

You have probably already seen at least some of these photos.

(That’s okay — it does not hurt at all to see them again)

But did you also know that she’s a shapeshifter?

There’s a joke in there about the grim tale of Khloe over-editing her face, but let’s skip past that.

Because Kourtney is wearing a mermaid tail for this particular photo — in this case, via photoshop.

Mermaid tails are increasingly popular poolside attire, particularly when it comes to snapping gorgeous photos for the ‘gram.

But as we mentioned, Kourtney is doing more than just flaunting her hot bod.

Her photos, though delightful in and of themselves, have a purpose.

And that purpose, as with so many things about Kourtney, is tied to her Poosh.

Poosh may sound like a weird euphemism for various things, from certain types of genitals to an orgasm.

But it’s the name of Kourtney’s personal brand.

And she’s plugging Poosh (oof, that sounds awkward) by using her pics to promote her exercise routine.

Kourt linked to her website.

Specifically, she linked to “four moves for sexy side abs.”

Exercise is not a one-size-fits-all thing, but most people can benefit in specific ways from specific exercises.

Of course, Kourtney — like her sisters — is not “most people.”

The key to having one’s dream body requires two key ingredients.

Kourtney, like her sisters, happens to have both.

The first is genetics, and Kourtney won the genetic lottery.

Two people can eat the exact same things and do the exact same workouts with wildly different results and figures.

Kourtney happens to be one of those with one of the most stunning, desirable figures on the face of the planet.

The second is more akin to winning the actual lottery — money.

Professionally prepared meals at home, the time, space, and equipment to exercise … these all cost money.

One doesn’t have to “buy” the perfect body from a cosmetic surgeon for wealth to be the key to having a perfect figure.

Kourtney’s sister, Khloe, has struggled with her own body image despite totally reimagining her body and her brand.

Khloe got her “dream body” and it just wasn’t enough — because the problem was never her body.

The problem for Khloe remains her body dysphoria that convinces her that even her most gorgeous natural photos aren’t enough.

Kourtney has been less outspoken about her body than some of her sisters.

Unlike Kim, Kourtney has a more traditional figure.

Unlike Khloe, Kourt doesn’t seem to struggle with her body.

Will Kourtney’s workout transform anyone’s lives?

Doubtful.

But she’s welcome to keep posting thirst traps to advertise it.

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