Matt Gaetz Should Be Shitting Himself Right Now, Says Lawyer for Gaetz Pal Likely Cooperating With the Feds

When The New York Times reported that the Department of Justice was investigating Rep. Matt Gaetz for allegedly paying women for sex and, separately, sleeping with a minor and transporting her across state lines, the Florida congressman presumably thought that was going to be the worst day of his career for a long while. Then CNN reported that in addition to potentially having committed the sort of crimes that can send a person away for 10 years, he was also a certifiable sleazebag who had allegedly shown naked photos of women he’d slept with to colleagues on the House floor. Later, we learned that Gaetz was dumb enough to have seemingly provided literal receipts to the women he’d allegedly paid for sex. Days after that, it emerged that the lawmaker had reportedly asked Donald Trump for a blanket pardon for “any” crimes he might have committed, which is not something innocent people typically feel the need to do.

At this point, you might have thought that Gaetz—who has denied the accusations against him as well as the report re: seeking a pardon—was mentally prepared for whatever else was going to come his way. Still, he probably didn’t expect to wake up on Thursday and learn that his close friend Joel Greenberg, who allegedly procured the women the lawmaker paid for sex, and was reportedly charged with trafficking the same 17-year-old Gaetz allegedly slept with, is now likely cooperating with the Feds. Per Politico:

The legal peril Rep. Matt Gaetz is facing appeared to increase sharply Thursday after a court hearing indicated that one of Gaetz’s close friends, former Seminole County, Fla., tax collector Joel Greenberg, is likely cooperating with federal prosecutors. The potentially ominous development for the close ally of former President Donald Trump came as prosecutors and a defense attorney for Greenberg appeared before a judge here to discuss the next steps in a recently expanded criminal case charging Greenberg with sex trafficking of a minor, as well as stalking, bribery and defrauding the pandemic-related Paycheck Protection Program.

The federal probe looking into whether Gaetz had a sexual relationship with a 17-year-old girl and paid for her travel began last year and grew out of the Greenberg investigation…. The brief hearing took less than 10 minutes, and attorneys did not mention Gaetz by name in court. The exchange and [Greenberg defense attorney Fritz] Scheller’s extended comments to reporters following the session, however, strongly suggested that Greenberg is assisting the prosecution and that Thursday’s events were choreographed to turn up the heat on Gaetz.

“We believe this case is going to be a plea,” federal prosecutor Roger Handberg said at the beginning of the hearing, adding that his “hope would be that it is done this month.” It was Scheller’s remarks following the proceedings, though, that presumably had Gaetz soiling himself, given that he burst into laughter after being asked: “Does Matt Gaetz have anything to worry about?” and then, after composing himself, responded “I’m sure Matt Gaetz is not feeling very comfortable today.” 

Despite the fact that Gaetz is one of his most devoted footstools, Donald Trump has not exactly come to Gaetz‘s defense. After saying nothing about the scandal—despite usually having no problem weighing in on such things—he issued a two-line statement on Wednesday saying that the congressman had never personally asked him for a pardon, also and noting that he has denied all the accusations against him.

Sad: Mitch McConnell‘s wife can‘t find a high-paying job doing very little thanks to her association with Trump

If it’s not too much to ask, please keep Elaine Chao in your prayers:

Before she joined the Trump administration as transportation secretary, Elaine Chao earned millions of dollars over the past decade by serving on the boards of big public companies such as Dole Foods, Protective Life and Wells Fargo, according to corporate filings. She offered sterling credentials to businesses eager to keep current with the Republican leadership: A former banking executive, she became the first Asian American woman to serve in a Cabinet when President George W. Bush tapped her to serve as labor secretary. She has been a regular at conservative think tanks including the Heritage Foundation and the Hudson Institute. Her husband is Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell. But now Chao is encountering a fraught reentry into the private sector.

Headhunters who have sought similarly prominent work for Chao have found little interest, according to two headhunters she’s consulted personally. The headhunters, speaking on the condition of anonymity because of the sensitive nature of the discussions, said top executives wary of backlash from associating with former Trump officials are boiling down Chao’s four-decade Washington résumé to its most recent entry: long-standing ally of Donald Trump, despite her resignation the day after the Jan. 6 attack on the Capitol.

And while Chao did indeed resign the day after the attack on the Capitol, even if we assume that had nothing to do with shirking her responsibility to help remove Trump via the 25th Amendment, it doesn’t mean much given that (1) she was going to be out of a job in two weeks anyway and (2) she stood by Trump after he:

• Refused to disavow right-wing extremists, telling them instead to “stand back and stand by”
• Reportedly separated infants from their migrant parents (and claimed it was fine because the facilities he kept children in were clean)
• Tried to extort a foreign government into digging up dirt on his political rival’s son
• Reportedly called fallen soldiers “suckers” and “losers”
• Pressured an election official to “find” 11,780 votes or suffer the consequences
• Was and is an abject racist and anti-Semite
• Let hundreds of thousands of people in the U.S. die on his watch, having said the virus that killed them would just disappear (and been caught on tape admitting to lying to the public about it)

Still, we’re sure she will land on her feet eventually—a person “close” to Chao said she is “evaluating a number of invitations to join various corporate boards”—and if a gig doesn’t pan out, she thankfully has many millions to fall back on.

Stephen Miller is trying to unload his D.C. condo

The listing doesn’t make it clear if he’s willing to throw in the coffin he sleeps in to sweeten the deal, but make him an offer and find out!

The political aide is asking $1,199,000 for his unit in Washington, D.C. The conservative aide credited as the architect of the Trump administration’s controversial immigration policy purchased the newly built condo in 2014 for $973,000…. In 2018, the deluxe apartment complex was the site of protesters targeting Miller to express their opposition to his hard-line immigration views.

The apartment reportedly boasts an “immaculate kitchen featur[ing] sleek wood cabinets and white counters, stainless-steel Bosch appliances, and a built-in banquet,” as well as “high-tech stereo equipment throughout, and a parking space that comes with the unit.” On the other hand, one must consider the hundreds of thousands they’ll have to spend on sage bundles in order to cleanse the place of Miller’s aura.

Elsewhere!

Michigan Cases Surge to Worst in Nation as Variants Multiply (Bloomberg)

Video shows Texas GOP official seeking “army” of volunteers to monitor polls in mostly Black and Hispanic Houston precincts (Washington Post)

George Floyd’s breathing was so restricted that it was almost as if his lung had been removed, expert says (Yahoo)

Biden: If I could do one thing on guns, I would allow people to sue gun manufacturers (CNBC)

Current Emissions Put the World on Track for Biodiversity Collapse (Bloomberg)

“Trump pardoned the man who sexually harassed me. Will I now spend the rest of my life looking over my shoulder?” (The Atlantic)

Another aide to Matt Gaetz is said to have quit amid an intensifying Justice Department investigation. (NYT)

Florida sues CDC to allow cruises to resume U.S. sailings (CNBC)

Woman loses front teeth after drinking mimosas at bottomless brunch (NYP)

Video Shows Giant Lizard Storming 7-Eleven in Search of Food (Complex)

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