From mastering the art of #WFH to socialising with our loved ones via Zoom, the current situation has been difficult to navigate for pretty much everyone as we all adjust to ‘the new normal’. Just about nailed your ‘athleisure’ wardrobe and nabbed at Ocado slot? Try throwing a new baby into the mix.
For plenty of new mothers, the current situation has been particularly tricky. Not only are they struggling to access the post-natal classes they need and share their new bundle of joy with family members, many hoping to return to work after their mat leave have been furloughed, putting extra financial pressure on their families.
If you’ve recently welcomed a baby or are struggling to recalibrate following maternity leave, we’ve enlisted the advice of 7 incredibly positive and practical new mothers – many of whom are balancing running their own businesses with motherhood, to share their clever hacks for navigating this strange old time.
Here, these admirable ladies share how they’ve been coping at home with a baby amidst a global pandemic, how to focus on the positives and impart their simple tips and routines that you can emulate.
My daughter India is 9 weeks old today. She lives in a world of innocent bliss. Each time she smiles gleefully, I am reminded of that and it never fails to lift my spirits in these extraordinary times. My tips are much the same as they would be for any parents of a newborn. But they are more relevant and important now than ever, as we all ‘go it alone’.
Family first
When social distancing makes hugs and kisses with grandparents impossible, take time to use tech in a fun way, going beyond texts and phone calls. Every morning, I send a video of India waking up and stretching to our family WhatsApp group. As for group calls? This weekend, 10 of us wore fancy dress (India and I came as unicorns) to celebrate her cousin’s birthday in California via Zoom.
The newborn bubble
So many friends told me how special these first few months are, to treasure these early days, living in the cocoon of baby. I always feared I might race back into socialising or working too quickly but now lockdown means there’s no chance of that! Try to focus on the positives of this enforced isolation with your new baby without the disruption of work or the pressure of partying and associated FOMO.
Working days & date nights
Just because my husband is now working from home, I need to remember this isn’t an extended paternity leave for him. The first few days were a struggle with me thinking this meant he could multi-task a crying baby and conference calls (not possible, not professional) but we now have a rhythm. Try to leave working partners to concentrate by day, that way they will be ready for baby bath time. Also, make time for yourselves: we have weekly date nights. Sometimes it’s white table linen and homemade pasta, sometimes it’s just a candle and takeaway pizza, but they are one of the best things we have started since the start of this crisis.
Quick fixes
Find those small things that lift your mood each day. This might be dancing to Justin Bieber first thing or it might be wearing a fabulous pair of earrings. I asked my followers and one resounding response was baking or cooking recipes they wouldn’t normally have time to cook. I’ve started squeezing in quick bakes or slow-cooked dinners (10 minutes chopping then 8 hours in the slow cooker – very easy) between feeds. It’s always more special to eat homemade, and invaluable in these unusual times.
Keep a diary
Start a journal for both your newborn and yourself. No need to write an essay, just one sentence a day of something memorable that they did. Then also jot down one sentence for you: an idea you had, a tiny triumph or a moment that made you smile. That’s how my latest project came about: a seed of an idea to build on the concept of positivity and creativity in times of adversity. From this #RosannasPositiviTea came to fruition, where I interview an inspiring creative each month on what brings them joy. Yesterday I hosted my first, via Instagram Live, with fashion designer Olivia Rubin. She is a mum of two and one of her tips is invaluable for mums at any time: “I love my morning cup of coffee. It’s my saving grace. That’s my time, that’s my five minutes.” Let’s all remember to take that time for ourselves and to drink that strong coffee!
@wearetwinset / @philippabloom
Taking each day as it comes
We’ve always tried our best to live in the present moment with our little ones and not get too carried away with forward thinking but it’s become even more important to do so in these unsettling times. As long as our babies wake up and go to sleep with a smile than we know we’re doing something right!
A stroll a day
Pre-isolation we would always make the most of being outdoors with the bubbas as find that they are happiest exploring nature and having fresh air. The days can feel really long and intense with the idea of staying indoors all day and so we really are making the most of our stroll a day, every day! It makes a huge difference to our mental state and is always the highlight of our day.
Keep to structure
We are both quite regimented with our baby nap/snack/meal time schedule and have found it our saving grace during these testing times. It gives us the structure we need for the day and helps the day flow well.
Plan meals at the beginning of the week
This has really helped us not feel anxious before every meal time thinking ‘what am I going to give them today??’ and also helps us organise what needs to be defrosted in time so we’re not left with a last-minute panic.
Talk to our friends and family
We’re finding it SO important to stay connected at the moment; whether that’s on Whatsapp, FaceTime or a Zoom party with all of our friends. It’s really helping us feel sane, especially if we’ve been having a challenging day with the bubbas it just feels so much better to talk it through and also hear everyone is feeling the same thing.
@wearetwinset / @sarahtankelellis
Plan, plan, plan! Try to plan your day and set small goals ( e.g put a load of washing on, make your bed) but don’t beat yourself up if you don’t manage to achieve them.
Try and do one thing for yourself
It will make you a better parent. A bath, a phone call, reading a chapter of a book, a face mask. It’s important you look after yourself.
Try your best to enjoy this enforced baby bubble
It sounds cliche but they really do grow up so fast, the sleepless nights, the night feeds and wanting to be cuddled all day won’t last long, so try and cherish it if you can. Take photos, videos, keep a baby journal. It may seem silly to take notes but in a years’ time you’ll look back and be so glad that you did.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help
Being a mother is exhausting and emotional at the best of times. You are bound to feel anxious about your baby and now anxiety has been taken to a whole new level. If your partner or other family members are living at home with you, make sure you tell them how they can help. Whether that’s making you a drink while you feed your baby or giving you some time to yourself; however big or small, it can really take the load off you. Let your partner know how you’re feeling, what might be worrying you or what you might be finding hard. Every night before we go to sleep my husband and I discuss how we feel the day has gone and let each other know if we are finding things hard and it really helps.
Don’t try to juggle
I have my own business so I still need to work but I just found myself feeling like I wasn’t paying full attention to Oscar OR work, so I made a decision to only spend my time doing one or the other. I’m lucky Oscar is only 9 months old as it means he still naps every 2-3 hours, so I use that little bit of time to catch up on my emails/calls. I now work on the more creative parts of my business in the evening when I have uninterrupted time.
Don’t spend your whole day tidying
It’s soul destroying doing it all day everyday as the mess is just relentless and ultimately it’s a waste of time and energy. Anyone who knows me could tell you that I am extremely particular about the house, so I struggle to leave it to pile up until the evening, but I only allow myself to tidy it twice – during his longer lunchtime nap, and once he’s gone to bed. Spend some time making sure you have a place for everything and everything in its place. It will save you so much time putting everything away at the end of the day and give you a sense of structure.
Get dressed everyday
I have seen so many people talking about this but with good reason. Sometimes the days run away with me and I look up, it’s 3pm and I’m still in my pyjamas with baby food all over me. But I’ll still get showered and get changed, even if I don’t have time for hair and makeup. I’ll always layer up some necklaces or wear some statement earrings to instantly feel more pulled together. It’s a game-changer for my attitude and makes me feel a bit more ‘me’, which in turn makes me better equipped to be a better mum.
There are never enough hours in the day so save time on your beauty regime
Use combination products like gradual tan and tinted moisturiser to kill two birds with one stone. Master a sleek bun for when your hair is starting to look like it needs a little refresh – it will save time washing and blow drying and also train your hair into needing to be washed less). Spend 5 minutes tinting your brows so you don’t need to fill them in every day.
Remind yourself that everyone is going through a similar intense, stressful experience as you right now
Try FaceTime or Houseparty to talk to friends or family to vent, laugh about things and put everything into perspective. Only follow social media accounts that make you feel good.
Have some sort of loose routine
In my ‘normal’ life I’ve never been one for strict routine, it just doesn’t work for me and I like my kids being adaptable to being out and doing different things rather than being glued to the house for nap times etc. But during this time, we’ve found that adapting a loose routine has really helped. Nothing strict, but we go for our walk each morning after which the girls have play time, then lunch and the afternoon of activities. Not only have the kids really adapted to it, it’s really great for me too in compartmentalising my day.
Do not be hard on yourself or put pressure on yourself
It’s so hard not to do this when you see hoards of perfect-seeming mothers on Instagram with days worth of activities, perfectly dressed children eating perfectly manicured and healthy food. But remember that is not reality. People only post the good stuff. If you’re having a bad day and the kids are in their pyjamas all day, eating sandwiches – then who cares! It’s not going to kill them! Just put on some music and make it a teddy bears picnic.
Find the fun in the mundane
Not all activities need to be the most complicated or fancy. Some of the most entertaining things I’ve done with the kids are finding the fun in everyday activities. For example, a big plastic box full of water and washing up liquid and putting in all the plastic toys for the kids to ‘clean’.
Rachael Ainsworth, mother to 11-month-old Miller
Have fun
Discover one new activity to do a day with your little one on the advice of real-life mums (GLAMOUR Editor in Chief, Deborah Joseph, has shared a brilliant guide to homeschooling whilst having fun, and there’s also a plethora of celebrities offering their own activities. Try to move around different spots in your home for different activities throughout the day for a change of scene
Download apps to help you bond with other mums
Catch up with women who are going through the same thing on apps like Peanut. On the app, you can find women with children the same age to can share advice, listen and learn.
Turn off the news
It’s easy to have it on in the background 24/7 but it can become very overwhelming and cause stress.
Participate in the classes you would usually be doing, but virtually
Peanut is hosting seminars with Doctors, as well as mindfulness and yoga classes on the app that are free to participate in.
Stick to meal-times – it helps maintain an important structure to your day.