It’s been a very, very long time since Tom Cruise last paid a visit to his youngest child.
In fact, some sources claim Tom hasn’t seen Suri in over five years.
That would be shockingly douchey behavior under any circumstances, but it’s especially appalling when you consider the following factors:
1. Suri is 13, which means if the rumors are true, her father has been absent for more than a third of her life.
2. Tom is a multimillionaire and the face of an international space cult, which means at a moment’s notice, he can go anywhere in the world on a private jet staffed entirely by Xenu slaves.
Really no excuse for not swinging by your ex’s condo in New York under those circumstances.
So yeah, Tom has been a very sh-tty dad for a very long time.
But according to a new report from In Touch, the actor and interplanetary savior is ready to launch a half-assed effort to make things right.
“He saw a photo of Suri looking all grown up, and it changed everything,” a source tells the tabloid.
Yes, it seems the decision to reconnect was sparked by Tom’s recent realization that earthling children grow at an alarming rate.
That, and Katie Holmes broke up with Jamie Foxx, so Tom can pay a visit without fear that he won’t be the most famous person in the room.
“With Katie single again, and Suri not having a father figure in her life, it’s the perfect opportunity to reach out,” the insider claims.
The source goes on to confirm what everybody already knew — that Tom abandoned Suri because his martian overlords instructed him to:
“Tom has sacrificed the most important things in his life for Scientology,” says the insider.
“If he ever were to escape Scientology, it would be because of his daughter.”
Sadly, Tom has already demonstrated that he loves Scientology more than he loves Suri, and we doubt a teen who’s a virtual stranger at this point holds that much sway over the dude.
Fortunately, Katie is said to be an ideal mom.
She’s back on the market these days, and the source says her highest priority is finding a partner who “build a strong relationship with her daughter down the line.”
“If they don’t tick that box, Katie’s just not interested,” says the insider.
She might want to make sure they’re not keen on celebrity space religions, too, just to be safe.